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Permission to Write Badly

Over 25 years and multiple careers, there’s been a recurring theme underlying my work. Sometimes it’s subtle, so baked into the normal flow that you’d miss it. Other times, it’s the marching orders that everyone beats their drum to—loudly. Simply put, it’s the process of iteration.

The Drumbeats of Creation

Through iteration lies the chance for improvement. And yes, you can fail a great many times.

In graphic design, we were taught REDI—Research, Explore, Design, and Iteration. It means devoting at least half your effort to trying things out. Researching what works and what doesn’t. Exploring numerous variations of a design—most of which land in the scratch pile, never to be seen again. Learn more about the graphic design process here.

Take the ever-important logo. A logo’s design starts with a concept, an idea. You research competitors and understand the end customer and their expectations. You explore ways of expressing that idea, drafting innumerable sketches, or ‘roughs,’ until a few begin to stand out. Then you take the best you have to offer, shape them into something cleaner and more refined, and bring those to your client for feedback—only for those to go through even more revisions before reaching a final piece.

User Experience Design is exceedingly similar. Most iterations are baked into traditional SDLC (System Development Life Cycle) processes, which are iterative by nature. This has evolved into “Agile,” a continuous cycle of iteration—research and identify problems, propose solutions, develop, test, refine, produce, and repeat.

Writing is no different. The difficulty I’ve found with writing a story is knowing when to stop iterating. That’s the bigger problem.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” — Samuel Beckett

Learning to Let Go

My first book, Zombie Girl Omega, took me over ten years to write, revise, rewrite, revise, rewrite, lose, and find (you get the picture). Finally, I had to admit that if I continued on that path, my story would never get any further than a manuscript—and a draft one at that. This meant accepting that whatever I released wouldn’t be perfect and definitely NOT the best writing of my life. But how can I expect to get better as a writer if I don’t give myself the opportunity to fail, learn, and grow?

My second book took slightly over two years from start to finish, but again, there were at least six solid iterations of that manuscript. I’d have refined it more, but that wasn’t the end goal. Iteration isn’t the goal of writing—it’s a means, a tool for improving storytelling.

That’s why this third book in my ZGO series has been the most interesting go-round. This time, I decided on two things: First, I want to further refine my writing process, streamlining it to produce more stories. Second, I want to have the third book written and published within a year of my second book. Add to that the timing considerations—I was firmly advised to avoid summer releases and aim for spring, maybe fall, never the holiday season. 

I first addressed my process and mindset before writing the first draft (the image below is what that translated to for me). I then reviewed the timing of my overall process and selected a late-spring release for book number three.

Story Development Lifecycle - Writing Draft 1

What I gave my developmental editor at the beginning of November 2025 is nowhere near as refined as what I’ve delivered in the past. But it is a first draft, and in that sense, it should be raw. It should be wrong and awkward, with gaps and uneven bits that require thought and refinement. Iteration provides that pivotal pause where you can step back and reassess what you’ve done. Ask yourself: Is this what I intended? Has anything changed? Is there a new path I haven’t considered?

My mistake the first time—and even the second—was trying to perfect something in one go. When you use a developmental editor, the feedback they provide addresses the big picture: concept and storyline, how your character arc works, how the story flows, its cadence. These aren’t grammatical errors or spelling issues. These are “what does this section add to the story?” or “have you considered x?” Major changes should occur after a dev edit. It’s exciting! A challenge urging you to create something even better.

If you treat the writing process as an iterative cycle of growth and learning, allowing for pauses and sprints, the journey becomes as enjoyable as the destination. I’ll have my manuscript back with my editor’s comments within a month. Then, I’ll go through the next stage of my process, reviewing her feedback to understand what she’s seen and think about how to improve my story.

For the last two months, I haven’t thought about Omega and her team at all, which might seem odd, but it’s intentional. I spent over a year working on not just the second book but the outline and content of the third without a break. This is the break I need to look at it with fresh eyes. Meanwhile, I’m working on a fourth book, the first of a new trilogy tentatively titled Children of Eden. I’ve switched gears to apply the lessons learned from my first series to this new one. The result will be a first rough draft within the month as well.

What I’ve learned about iteration is that you have to fail to succeed. You must do poorly to do better. The only way I’ve ever learned or grown as a creative is by taking a step back, identifying what I can improve, and trying again. I won’t—can’t—do things perfectly the first time, nor even the second. Perfection, while a noble compass point to head toward, is not the ultimate goal. It’s merely a guiding principle that should make what you do better, should challenge you inside. And that’s really what I’m looking for when I write—that challenge, knowing that I will do better if I only try hard enough.

Listening to on Spotify: Carry on Wayward Son by Neoni

Chain Reading: Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick, The Underground Library by Jennifer Ryan, Network Effect by Martha Wells

Writing Nook: Children of Eden (first draft), Edge of Chaos (research)

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